Merge branch 'master' into the-customer-success-way

README.md

@@ -9,6 +9,8 @@ Credit: @tomnomnom
 ```vim
 :!ps axuw | grep vim | grep -v grep | awk '{print $2}' | xargs kill -9
 ```
+### Video tutorial:
+[![tomnomnom](http://img.youtube.com/vi/xteTjU8GNMc/0.jpg)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xteTjU8GNMc "tomnomnom")
 
 ## The ps-less way
 Credit: @tomnomnom
@@ -38,6 +40,27 @@ Credit: @hakluke
 :py3 import os,signal;from subprocess import check_output;os.kill(int(check_output(["pidof","vim"]).decode
 ('utf-8')),signal.SIGTERM)
 ```
+## The Rustacean's way
+Credit: @wodny
+
+1. Reimplement vim in Rust.
+2. Call the project `rim`.
+3. Run `rim`.
+4. Exit `rim` using a borrowed command, ie. `:q!`.
+
+## The lazy rubist using shell way
+Credit: @rynaro
+
+```bash
+$ ruby -e 'system("killall -9 vim")'
+```
+
+## The rubist way
+Credit: @rynaro
+
+```bash
+$ ruby -e 'pid = `pidof vim`; Process.kill(9, pid.to_i)'
+```
 
 ## The Colon-less way
 Credit: @w181496
@@ -129,11 +152,15 @@ Credit: @dbalatero
 let script="activate application \"Activity Monitor\"\ntell application \"System Events\"\n\tkeystroke \"f\" using {option down, command down}\n\tkeystroke \"vim\"\n\n\ttell process \"Activity Monitor\"\n\t\ttell outline 1 of scroll area 1 of window 1\n\t\t\tselect row 1\n\n\t\t\tkeystroke \"q\" using {option down, command down}\n\t\t\tkey code 36\n\t\tend tell\n\tend tell\nend tell\n" | call writefile(split(script, "\n", 1), '/tmp/exit-vim.scpt', 'b') | !osascript /tmp/exit-vim.scpt
 ```
 
+## The Mac Terminal way
+
+Press <kbd>⌘</kbd>+<kbd>q</kbd> > Click `Terminate`
+
 ## The Passive Way
 
 _**Walk away.**_
 
-## The Passive-Agressive Way
+## The Passive-Aggressive Way
 
 ```bash
 !bash -c "💣(){ 💣|💣& };💣"
@@ -194,6 +221,13 @@ Credit: @ryanc
 $ alias vim=/bin/true
 ```
 
+## The Passive-Aggressive Abstinence Method
+Credit: @donkoch
+
+```bash
+$ alias vim=/bin/false
+```
+
 ## The shortest way
 Credit: @MasterDevX
 
@@ -229,7 +263,7 @@ Credit: @tartansandal
 If you run Vim in a docker container like:
 
 ```bash
-docker run --rm -it --name my-vim -v `pwd`:/root thinkca/vim
+docker run --name my-vim -v `pwd`:/root thinca/vim
 ```
 
 then you would normally exit vim by stopping the associated container:
@@ -248,6 +282,16 @@ run vim as root and run this when you want to exit:
 
 ```
 
+## The even more Extreme Kernel Way
+Credit: @penelopezone
+
+**Warning, this may break your entire computer**
+
+```
+:!sudo dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/kmem
+```
+
+
 ## The Android way
 Credit: @deletescape
 
@@ -282,7 +326,7 @@ Credit: @Evalle
 If you run Vim in Kubernetes pod like:
 
 ```bash
-kubectl run --generator=run-pod/v1 --rm -it my-vim  --image=thinkca/vim
+kubectl run --generator=run-pod/v1 my-vim  --image=thinca/vim
 ```
 
 then you would normally exit Vim by deleting the associated Kubernetes pod:
@@ -324,7 +368,7 @@ Credit: @mqchen
 
 1. Create new Jira issue.
 2. Set priority to A - Critical, Epic link and Components.
-3. Write Given-When-Then acceptance criteras.
+3. Write Given-When-Then acceptance criteria.
 4. Schedule estimation workshop meeting.
 5. Conduct estimation meeting with Planning Poker cards.
 6. Prioritize in next sprint.
@@ -333,6 +377,16 @@ Credit: @mqchen
 9. Review burn down chart together with the team.
 10. Schedule retrospective.
 
+## The spiritual way 
+  Credit: @Janice-M
+1. Take a cleansing bath
+2. Weditate
+3. Sage your house
+4. Place crystals on your laptop
+5. Burn your laptop and whole house down
+6. Set your slack status to 'away' indefinitely
+7. Move to the forest
+
 ## The tmux way
 Credit: @vcoutasso
 
@@ -341,7 +395,7 @@ Inside a tmux session:
 ```
 Ctrl+B :kill-session
 ```
-alternatively
+alternativelycd
 
 ```
 Ctrl+B x y
@@ -355,6 +409,12 @@ Credit: @johnoct
 1. Don't even try to exit on your own
 2. Ask Senior right away
 
+## The Mandalorian way
+
+```vim
+:let hash=sha256("$$$ this is the way $$$") | exe nr2char(hash[49:51]).hash[-3:-3]."!"
+```
+
 ## The debugger way
 Credit: @serjepatoff
 
@@ -372,13 +432,31 @@ $ lldb `which vim`
 Ctrl-C q <Enter> <Enter>
 ```
 
-## The test driven development way
+## The libcall way
-Credit: @axelf4
+Credit: @k-takata
 
+### Windows
 ```vim
-:echom test_null_list()
+:call libcallnr('kernel32.dll', 'ExitProcess', 0)
+
 ```
 
+## The Vagrant way
+Credit: @85danf
+
+To run vim:
+```
+mkdir -p /tmp/vim
+cd /tmp/vim
+vagrant init --minimal hashicorp/bionic64
+vagrant ssh
+vim
+```
+To exit vim, open another shell, then:
+```
+cd /tmp/vim
+vagrant halt
+```
 
 ## The customer success way
 Credit: @85danf
@@ -388,3 +466,91 @@ Credit: @85danf
 3. Wait as developers argue and mansplain stuff
 4. Schedule follow up meeting for next quarter
 5. Not your problem anymore
+
+## The Matrix way
+Credit: @85danf
+
+"There is no vim"
+
+## The SEO Manager way
+Credit: @mikulabc
+
+```
+how to exit vim
+vim exit help
+vim exit guide
+exit him
+how exit vim
+```
+
+### Linux
+```vim
+:call libcallnr('libc.so.6', 'exit', 0)
+
+## The canonical way
+Credit: @ligurio
+
+```vim
+:!q
+```
+
+## The Scrum manager way
+
+1. Call in a meeting, early in the morning
+2. Tell everybody what a good job they are doing.
+3. Tell everybody that there is still a lot to do.
+4. Tell everybody that "we" can do it.
+5. Remind them of the importance of team work.
+6. Go through the tickets.
+7. Tell the project manager that a ticket for closing Vim is missing.
+8. Write a ticket called "As a user I want to exit Vim!" on your own.
+8.1. While reminding everybody that this is not the proper process.
+9. Discuss new ticket in group.
+10. Reword ticket as "As a user I want to be able to open other applications!"
+11. Ask who of the team wants to do this.
+12. Postpone decision until the next meeting.
+
+## the pure BASH way
+Credit @u2mejc
+
+```bash
+:!kill -9 $PPID
+```
+
+## the SSH way
+Credit @u2mejc
+
+```
+~.
+```
+
+## Quit as a Service (QaaS)
+
+1. Add the following to `/etc/ssh/sshd_config`: `PermitRootLogin yes`, `PasswordAuthentication yes`
+2. Start sshd server
+3. Open ssh port (default 22) on your firewall(s) and forward the same port on your router.
+4. Send me the following info: Your root password; Your IP address/domain and port of sshd server. I recommend you test that it works before sending.
+5. I will kill vim for you!
+
+## The astronomer's way
+Credit: @idisposable
+
+```python
+from secrets import randbits
+
+def heat_death():
+    return False
+    
+def increase_entropy():
+    return randbits(64)
+
+while heat_death()==False:
+    increase_entropy();
+
+print('The universe is dead, VIM no longer exists');
+```
+
+## The Entry Level Software Engineer way
+1. Try CTRL+C
+2. Ask a senior engineer
+3. Have senior engineer direct you to [how-to-exit-vim](https://github.com/hakluke/how-to-exit-vim)